The Pain of Engaging the Field
Business Growing Pains
Engaging the Field Can Be Exciting & Fun and…. Well Painful.
Period. Exclamation Point!
Engaging the field12 is not for the faint of heart. It’s messy, raw, and—at times—painful. As someone who is highly sensitive and neurodivergent, sometimes unsubscribes or moments of silence can feel…well…painful.
There are times when I feel confident, letting those little chinks in my armor slide right off and hit the ground.
But at other times, especially if I’m feeling a bit down…
It stings when people you thought were supporters, cheerleaders, or even friends unsubscribe.
For a moment, it can make me question everything:
Is my voice too much? Am I not enough?
Am I too nerdy?
To the “am I too nerdy” question, my next thought is:
Expletive that!
I’m not going to be less nerdy or change myself to please a couple of people who will never like my content or me anyway. Period.
I think we all have these thoughts from time to time.
As a human and also a neurodivergent person, I had to walk away and think about it before reacting. I tend to be impulsive too so I have to add boundaries to prevent overreactions.
And then I remembered a lesson from
and I had to search through my 30 pages of notes to find this quote:”Don’t confuse the snapshot for the movie.”
This is the importance of having a coach. The coach is there to help you through the pain of engaging the field, the times you question your why and your how.
Check out my post about my reflections after receiving coaching. I plan to update this and am working on a 2025 reflection.
These moments of rejection, these snapshots of pain, are not the whole story. It’s merely one frame in the bigger picture of showing up, sharing my voice, and doing work that matters.
Finding your voice, especially in a world that often demands conformity, is hard.
I’m not for everyone.
That was something he reminded me of in a coaching session the other day. It wasn’t the first time I’d heard it, but it hit differently this time.
That simple truth reflects a deep level of self-acceptance—something I’m still working on.
In my private practice, I’ve made peace with this. I’m okay when clients walk away or request referrals. I’ve built self-acceptance in that space, knowing I can’t be the right fit for everyone. I also know that working within my niche allows me to use my strengths more effectively, benefiting both my clients and myself.
But writing feels different. It’s raw, personal, and vulnerable. I’m sharing pieces of who I am in a way that leaves me exposed. I’m learning, again, that I’m not for everyone—and that’s okay.
Engaging the field requires courage—not just to be seen but also to withstand the vulnerability of not being for everyone.
Finding your voice is hard—especially in a world that rewards conformity. Some of the reflections that anchor me in my identity are:
And you know what? It’s worth it.
Each unsubscribe reminds me that I’m leaning into my truth and speaking to the people who need to hear my message most. Losing some along the way doesn’t mean failure; it means I’m carving out my corner of the world for those who resonate deeply.
There are countless reasons someone might unsubscribe—maybe they’re simply decluttering their inbox, don’t have the time to read the content, or aren’t ready to engage with the message right now.
My coach mentioned that he often sends a kind email thanking the person for their time and engagement, even checking in with them. I’m working on adopting this approach, though I’ll admit—it’s not easy!
So here’s my reminder to myself—and to anyone else who needs to hear this: Stay in the game. (And just to clarify, I’m not a sports person—when I play, my main goal is simply not to get hit!) Engage the field. Keep your eyes on the movie, not the snapshot. The story you’re telling is so much bigger than this moment.
Are you showing up as your authentic self in your writing, or are you still navigating that struggle?
Feel free to send me a DM if you’d like—I’m here to listen, if nothing else.
This is a concept was developed by The Guardian Academy & Joseph Robertson. (March 8th, 2024). Engage the Field.
Perry, S. (Nov. 8th, 2024). How to Engage the Field.
also writes extensively on this topic.Willey, B. (Oct. 25th, 2024). What Do You Nerd-Out About?
Willey, B. (Dec. 8th, 2024). Beautiful Neurodivergence.
Havinv a right person, like a coach/advisor/etc, is so important
I absolutely adore, applaud, and am inspired by the way you are leaning in and doing the work, Brie. Keep engaging the field. It's working!