Ever stare at your website and feel… tired?
Not because it’s bad.
But because it feels like a younger version of you built it, and you’ve outgrown her.
I burned mine down the other week.
Here’s why.
Website Bonfire
The other week, I completely burned down the website for my therapy business and started over. I used a new builder, new structure, new copy (still building it). If you want the nerdy breakdown of what I switched to and why, just ask. And yes, I did it myself, because I’m a die-hard DIYer.1
It took me ten years to hire a coach. I’d already done the whole solo grind: podcasts, trainings, testing, iterating, duct-taping systems together until something finally worked.
But doing it alone has a cost.
You can build a lot in a vacuum… and still miss the thing that would’ve saved you months.
When I finally got support, things didn’t just “improve.” I stopped circling the same problems alone.
Which brings me to the website.
Why did I burn it down?
Because it was over ten years old. I created it when I was a newbie in private practice.
Sure, I updated it regularly. But… I’ve changed alot. I’ve gotten much clearer on who I’m for — and who I’m not. My skillset and approach grew and the old template was dated.
Also: the counseling landscape has changed a lot over the years. And AI has entered the picture and impacts SEO.
During the data collection stage of my dissertation, a participant, Mary2 (pseudonym—named after Mary Winchester from Supernatural) talked about the impact of venture capital companies entering the therapy field. (Now when I say this, we are never judging therapists who utilize these companies to help their income, sometimes this is necessary for a time, but what is happening in the field deserves a pause).
Mary wasn’t afraid of competition. She was afraid for newer counselors—and for the future of the field. She sensed the system beginning to drift from the values that drew her to the work in the first place.
And yes, if you zoom out far enough you can spiral: competition, directories, big companies, AI, noise, blah blah. It’s easy to think, maybe I should just give up and go work for someone else.
I don’t think we need to do that.
We Are Adapting
I think we need to keep adapting. I think we learn about AI and use it wisely and ethically. I think we learn marketing that doesn’t require our nervous system to cosplay as a high-energy influencer. I also think we need to continue to network with intention.
And I think we get better at one overlooked skill that changes everything:
Seeing your work through your client’s eyes
Not through your credentials or all the fancy certifications but through their lived experience.
Because if your work is good but your words aren’t connecting, people won’t reach out.
I’m reading R3mail right now by Joseph Robertson and it’s really opening my eyes about this even more. It’s not just about website copy and the potential client being able to see themselves in that copy, it’s the ability to communicate the “symphony”3 of our understanding as well through emails or social media or on our websites or wherever. So we and our clients have a symphony of understanding but sometimes we aren’t communicating well enough. Maybe we are only hearing “one instrument.”
The real problem
The real problem isn’t that we’re bad at marketing.
Most therapists, and actually alot of other business owners, weren’t trained in marketing. We weren’t taught business-building either. We weren’t taught how money gets made in the marketplace.
Typically we had a business idea that made sense and sold services or items or whatever.
But we definitely weren’t taught how to write website copy.
So what do we do?
We default to safe-professional mode.
We list credentials. We add disclaimers. We use clinical language. We try to sound responsible (which… we are).
But we sometimes miss the connection piece.
For example: we might write I help treat “attachment trauma” and assume people know what that means.
But if someone is struggling with attachment-related stuff, they’re usually not thinking:
“Ah yes, my attachment wounds are activated.”
They’re probably thinking things more along the lines of:
Why do I feel rejected so often?
Why do my relationships keep failing?
Why do I need to switch jobs so often?
Why do I reach out and then panic?
Why do I push people away?
And when they go searching for help, they often don’t search for “attachment trauma work.”
They likely search for their pain.
Which leads to the core problem:
People don’t search for counseling-ease words. They search for their lived experience.
They aren’t typing (unless they are counseling-ease versed):
“trauma-informed EMDR clinician near me”
“attachment repair specialist”
“nervous system regulation interventions”
They’re probably typing things like:
“couples counselor near me”
“therapist for anger”
“help with relationships”
“How do I turn off my brain?”
“I can’t rest, I can’t sleep”
“why am I always on edge?”
“Help with overwhelm”
That difference matters because of one marketing truth:
People can’t say yes to a solution they can’t recognize
If your website sounds like a textbook, but your client feels like a tired human, they won’t bridge that gap for you.
That bridge is your job.
Your job isn’t to impress them with all your fancy credentials. They don’t even know what they mean. Yes we can type out their meaning and we probably should to satisfy the board but that’s not what our clients are looking for.
Your job is to help them recognize themselves—so the next step feels possible.
What would they actually search?
Let’s pretend you’re not a therapist. You’re just a tired human at 11:47pm who finally admits: I need help.
What would you type?
Sure we could build all the fancy GPT’s and other AI’s in the world but they will miss the connection and empathy piece.
This is where you shine.
You listen. You translate.
(And of course, you protect confidentiality.)
My reflection
Maybe burning down my website wasn’t about design at all.
Maybe it was about alignment.
Alignment between who I’ve become
and how I’m communicating.
The messy middle isn’t about quitting.
It’s about recalibrating.
And recalibration is easier when you’re not doing it alone.
Your next microstep
If you’re staring at your website (or your business) and feeling that quiet fatigue…
Maybe you don’t need a redesign.
Maybe you need to name the smallest solvable problem.
I’m running something simple right now called a Sprint.
It’s not a full overhaul.
It’s not a funnel build.
It’s not therapy.
It’s one focused conversation to name the real constraint — so you stop circling and start moving.
If that would help, reply “SPRINT” and I’ll send details.
Signing off,
Brie
What is a die hard DIYer? It’s someone who does most things themselves even when they sometimes need help. They research and test and reiterated but sometimes in a vacuum.
I wrote a case study/archetype about Mary. Check that out here: https://www.compassionresetquest.com/blog/mary
Check out Joseph’s book R3mail. I’m about halfway through the book and loving it! I told him I was linking it here and he said “you can tell them they are getting secret early access while i finish behind the scenes things” 👀 Check out especially pages 72-74.
Love this line Brie "I think we learn marketing that doesn’t require our nervous system to cosplay as a high-energy influencer." That's exactly what it feels like. - that in order to get enough people's attention we feel we need to play a (very exhausting) role. Better to show up as our best, authentic selves, ready to help the people who need what we have to offer.